Akane tecs In need of grading.

Feb 26, 2013 17:11:56 GMT -5 Akane Matsuyori said:

For: Shikai
Name: The Mountain's Lesson
Type: Defensive
Cost: Low
Range: N/A
Description:
The mountain is unwavering. It stands like an everlasting warrior against the eroding forces of nature that slam against it. It's metals hold strength and resistance. This is the lesson of the mountain and it gives it's strength to Akane. When this technique is activated Akane's skin seems to shimmer with the gleam of steel. This technique creates a strong physical shield around her deflecting most physical attacks for a short time. However, the mountain does not move. This inhibits Akane's movement, stopping her from being able to use shunpo while using this technique.
Enhanced by Zanpakuto's effect: "Iron In the Hills" is the enhanced part of this ability. Wong Tai Sin endows Akane's strikes withe power of the mountain. her blows enhanced for one post and deal additional damage if they strike.

For: Shikai
Name: Heaven Meets Earth
Type: Offensive
Cost: Moderate
Range: Short
Description:
When the sky and earth meet they become a horizon, however, wisdom tells us this a mystical phenomenon as a man can never find where they meet. This technique is the manifestation of that. Akane leaps upwards and thrusts her weapon out at the target. Quite simply the power of her reiatsu throws her forward at speeds similar to shunpo as she crashes into her target with a powerful shock wave. Knocking nearby enemies away and devastating anything struck directly by the attack.
Enhanced by Zanpakuto's effects: "Wind Cannot be Touched" The wind moves through the world with no trace and seems to be everywhere at once. This modifies the original technique into a ranged attack. Instead of Akane launching down a blast of energy is released from her weapon at an even fast pace than if she flew down herself and explodes for the same effect.

For:Shikai
Name: Ocean Flows Outward
Type: Defenise
Cost: Moderate
Range: short
Description:
The ocean is a great force. It is liquid and powerful. In never stops and is the source of life for many people. The oceans flows with anything that is thrown towards it. This technique is similar to The Mountain's Lesson, however, it redirects the flows of energy instead. This techniques does not give Akane a shield instead she "catches" the non area of effect energy attack on the edge her blade and whirls. Finish with a slash that sends the strike that hurls the attack in whatever direct she throws it. This maneuver is a simple redirection of energy that can only affect single target abilities.
Enhanced by Zanpakuto's effect: "Infinite Bounty of the Sea" The ocean is the great provider. Water is need for life and provides food for those who live near or far from it. The ocean can also change many things, like the tides, energy can flow in or out. Akane can either throw the attack back, or if enhanced, can convert the energy through her weapon and return the reiatsu cost of this ability negating the attack.

For:Shikai
Name: The Flame Does Not Forgive
Type:Offensive, Passive: 2 round duration
Cost: High
Range: Short
Description:
Fire leaves scars on man and nature alike. It's force can not be denied nor can it be easily extinguished. This techniques is the power of flame. Akane pulses her reiatsu outward and uses Wong Tai Sin to weaponize it. She becomes wreathed in a pulsing and destructive energy field that continuously damages and sears anyone standing within twenty feet of her, friend or foe. This technique requires little, if any control and so instead of drawing power from her ability to control the flow it draws just from her raw spiritual power.
Enhanced by Zanpakuto's effect: "Fire seeks Evil" The enhanced version of this attack is simple and direct. Wong Tai Sin changes the flux of the energy to avoid those who are not aggressive towards Akane and focus on those who are. This makes the technique change it's shape to divert more power to attacking foes and leaving harmless bubbles for allies to inhabit.

Red: No, these need to be removed. Your enhancements are essentially extra abilities, and as such are not allowed since you get 4 maximum to begin with. Remove them or edit your abilities themselves to try and incorporate them, but you're not getting eight abilities for the price of four. You're not actually Riven. Lol.

Green: How long is a short time exactly? I want this put down in a post limit. Also, what limitations does the ability have? You've already mentioned that you can deflect most physical strikes, but what makes it most rather than all?

Purple: Am I to assume this technique is unusable during your "The Mountain's Lesson" technique since "the mountain does not move"?

Brown: This technique seems completely out of place to me when compared to your other techniques. I'm not sure how it fits with your zanpakuto to be perfectly honest, doesn't seem to fit with the theme of your abilities.

Blue: Twenty feet is hardly short. Sort out either what it says next to range, or edit the range itself.

Black: As a whole, I don't particularly like this zanpakuto. You seem to be borrowing from multiple elements at once, even if only slightly. You are strong like the earth in defence with one, your reiatsu sears like fire in another, you can make reiatsu attacks flow like water back at an opponent and move like the wind in another. Multiple elements are not allowed even when they're only slight, so you need to work on this to give it a more cohesive line of approach.

Cheers for reading.